Civil Engineering Applied to Workplace and Relationship Attributes

For several years, I have been sharing my "Water-Bowl" theory with my students in classrooms and counselling sessions. I conceived this theory as a teenager, and it has guided my decision-making throughout my life. Interestingly, this theory aligns with what I later studied in college as my major - Civil Engineering's "Rock Solid Foundation" theory.


We all understand the significance of a building's foundation, which should never compromise on quality and must be rock solid to provide strength and stability throughout its design life. Likewise, this principle extends to our work life and relationships. Here, we have two categories: the foundation stones and the top-up stones. In the "Water-Bowl" theory, water represents the top-up stones, and the bowl symbolizes the foundation stones.

Before delving further, let me pose a question: Picture a parched sunny day, and you've been walking for a while, feeling incredibly thirsty. Suddenly, you spot a flowing river! Now, the only way to consume water from the river is to carry it in a vessel and drink from it. Attempting to catch water in your palms would lead to it slipping away before quenching your thirst. Let's consider three scenarios:

Scenario 1: You have no bowl (vessel) with you, and you try to drink water with your palms, but it slips away, leaving you thirsty.
Scenario 2: You have a bowl (vessel) with you, but there is no water nearby, leaving you in the same situation as in Scenario 1.
Scenario 3: You have a bowl (vessel) and manage to find a river. In this case, you can collect water in the bowl and quench your thirst.

According to the "Water-Bowl" theory, the primary essential condition to satisfy your thirst is to have both available water and a bowl together. If either of the two is missing, you will be left thirsty. This principle applies to life in general, where you must have the capability (potential) and the opportunity to be successful, or you must possess a blend of basic moral values as a medium to enhance other acquirable skills to achieve success.

Now, let's explore our "Rock Solid Foundation" theory. We often face questions and challenges in our workplaces and relationships, wondering which traits or attributes to prioritize when making crucial decisions. The "Rock Solid Foundation" theory comes to the rescue, emphasizing that a building's foundation should be the most stable and strength-bearing compared to other elements like walls, doors, or windows. If a building has excellent doors, brickwork, and masonry, but a weak foundation, disaster awaits. On the other hand, a strong foundation can compensate for less than perfect elements like windows or flooring, maintaining a stable design life.

       

This theory extends to all major life decisions at work and in relationships. Let's understand which attributes serve as rock-solid foundation stones for our workplaces and which ones are top-up stones that, while helpful, are not essential for achieving our goals.

As illustrated above, workplace attributes such as hard work, work ethic, consistency, patience, networking with the right people, knowledge, skillset, focus, and resilience to mistakes (a comeback attitude to constructive criticism after making a mistake or mess - remember, it's the experiences that make you grow, not just the applause) are a must and take priority when considering core traits for the workplace.

Additionally, attributes like good dressing sense, intelligence, smartness, good communication skills, leadership skills, multi-tasking abilities, passion for your job, and a bit of good luck can enhance your chances of success, but they are not essential. If you have a solid blend of the foundation stone attributes, you are well-prepared for success.

Similarly, in relationships, a strong foundation is built on courage to take up responsibility, commitment, acceptance of diversity and disagreements, a sense of belonging, loyalty, mutual respect, a sense of security, trust, and a feeling of completeness within oneself rather than relying heavily on the other person. A relationship with these foundation stone attributes will function more smoothly compared to one lacking these essential qualities. Therefore, these traits should be prioritized when choosing a partner over superficial attribute.

Additional traits like love, attraction, compatibility, chemistry, shared interests, mutual admiration, lifestyles, and financial goals are bonuses. The core of a successful relationship will always be the foundation stone attributes, while the top-up stone attributes can enhance the overall experience for both individuals.

The "Rock Solid Foundation" theory not only saves buildings but also affects our lives profoundly. So, when faced with difficult decisions about attribute priorities, consider whether they belong to the foundation stone category or the top-up stone category.

The "Water-Bowl" theory helps identify essential attributes, while the "Rock Solid Foundation" theory helps us prioritize traits in terms of importance.

Happy Living!